
One of the things I got for Christmas this year was a couple stockingsful of Dove's seasonal "Peppermint Bark" candies. I found them highly enjoyable, featuring a delightful combo of chocolate and mint (a layer of dark chocolate, and then a layer of white/mint chocolate with bits of broken candy-cane inside) -- but that's not why I'm mentioning them.
On the inside of each wrapper (as per Dove's habit) they each had a little something written. Normally it's something like, "Go ahead -- endulge!" or "Reward yourself in little ways." In other words, Keep Cramming the Candy in Your Face, Fatty. (Don't get me wrong; I highly enjoy Dove Chocolate. I simply find its wrapper "promises" rather self-serving...) In the case of their Peppermint Bark, inside the wrapper they inexplicably had a little snippet of advice from Martha Stewart on holiday decorating. (Martha Stewart being involved would probably be more explicable if I had seen the bag; perhaps it was a special Martha Stewart edition of the candy or something. Who knows? Or maybe they just thought that was the best possible thing they could put on the inside wrapper, because putting comments about Christmas itself would be too
religious and offend Atheist candy eaters. I don't know.)
Anyway, I'm getting away from my point which was this; every time I ate one of these things and then read the

little holiday decorating advice inside, I found myself getting just a touch
perturbed. It certainly had nothing to do with the candy itself, which I thoroughly enjoyed. And it wasn't that I was reading a quote from Martha Stewart, or that I was being given holiday decorating advice far too late to enact it. I had to actively consider this to figure out what was bothering me.
Finally, sitting on the couch with one of these in my mouth, I realized what was wrong:
it was a question of phrasing. The way these little tidbits of holiday decorating advice are phrased, they are
ORDERS. Look at this one:
"Center candles in clear glass cylinders and fill with nuts."Granted, it's kind of a subtle thing. It's not like she says, "
Center candles in clear glass cylinders and fill with nuts, stupid. And get a move on!" But it is an order, nonetheless. It's not "You
can center candles..." or "You
may center candles..." or any other phrasing that implies choice on my part. Maybe I don't want to center candles in clear glass cylinders and fill with nuts, but these wrappers don't
care -- they don't give me an option. Almost every wrapper I read comes across like that!

Of course, Mrs. Stewart was probably given an ultimatum regarding how many words she could use on each wrapper, but upon reflection, I think this just might be a Martha Stewart thing. Let me clarify, I don't really have anything against Martha Stewart (except that the majority of projects in her books are
way too nit-picky for my tastes) -- but something about her recommendations always slightly bothers me, and I think this is it; namely, that she doesn't recommend; she
commands. Am I wrong? People who have more Martha Stewart experience are welcome to comment. --
Mrs. Hall